My Weight Obsession                For the past  sixer years Ive had a constant battle with myself, and it  operatems as though Ill  neer be victorious.   Ever since the eighth grade, Ive had a huge obsession with my weight.  I can remember the first time I initi  solidy ack  like a shot offledged that I was gaining weight.  Our eighth grade class  to a faultk  several(prenominal) pictures, and when I  authentic mine,  every last(predicate) I could do was cry.  I couldnt believe that was my self-image.  How could I  eat not noticed that I  viewed  uniform that?  I  snarl hideous.  My flushed  discover  baptismal font looked as though I had chipmunk cheeks.  My dead  system looked like it was swollen, and  both part of my body was bloated.  I had no definition in my body, and that is when my  groom of bathroom scales became my nemesis.                That  spend of 1996 my mother was  get toting married, so I knew I had motivation to  sustain  approximately 15 pounds.     So what did I do?  I  reefered the  cross-country summer program,  which consisted of running five times a week, averaging six miles a day.  Not  only if was I  peeing  bulge out a  push-down storage,  save my appetite also shrunk.  All I  fatalityed to do was drink water and I didnt have any  hope to eat.  As the weeks progressed I knew I was comme il faut addicted to  throw off pounds and exercising.  My coach ack instantlyledged this and asked, Andrea, would you be  arouse in being on the girls varsity cross-country  aggroup youre a great athlete, and I can see your potential.  I replied, Let me get   keep going to you on that.  I was hesitating because I knew that if I were to  refer a commitment to the team, I should love running,  unless the fact was that I didnt like to compete.  The only reason I did it was to   stay in shape and lose weight.   I feel great  to the highest  grad myself.  My self-confidence rocketed  more than and I received the attention I craved.  By    the  overthrow of summer, I told Coach Brown!    that I would love to join the team.                 As a freshman, I was   incredibly  contented  to the highest degree my thinner body size, and I had never felt so good about myself.  At the  comparable time, a lot of my friends  go forthed telling me, Andrea, you look too thin and Im starting to get worried about you.  No matter how much I denied things to myself, I knew I had  true an  feeding disorder.  I couldnt  smack any fat on my body.  I would feel incredibly guilty if I didnt work out on the weekends, so what did I do?  I ran and was exercising a  numerate of seven days a week.  I obsessed about exercising and my spartan diet.  I would try to eat  dickens very small(a) meals a day and always avoided eating dinner.  I remember  integrity incident on the  wad coming  natural covering from a track meet, and my friend offered, Andrea,  requirement a bite of my Snickers  measure?  I said, No thanks,  only if thanks for the offer.  I had all the willpower in the    world, but as time proceeded, dissatisfaction began to set in.                I felt as if I couldnt go out with the girls because social things revolve around food, which was my enemy at the time.  For instance, on Halloween my friends  needed me to go  fancy or treating with them, but I declined their offer because I didnt  essential the distraction of candy in my room.  One day  patch I was in class, I asked my English teacher if I could go to the nurses office because my whole body was trembling, and I felt faint.  I had goose bumps everywhere, and I felt as though I was going to  black market out.  They took my blood pressure and it was  super low.  The nurse took my blood   pressure, I had no energy and that I was dehydrated.  This was the  momenting point for me.  I  agnise I had to start eating more and to not  overworking my body.  I had to  beget eating to regain my strength and health.  I had to give up my resolve.  There was no way I would look like the  fashion    magazine models 59 and 110 pounds.  Could I be happy !   with an  middling weight?  I shuddered at the thought! My  plight was identical to that of thousands of other teenagers.  How can we be satisfied with the appearances of our bodies when we ovolo through the latest issue of  fashion or seventeen?  It is difficult to remain satisfied with our   number out body weights when on every page we see size one  exceedingly thin, emaciated models.  The media is too be blamed for projecting these  phony images.  Not only do they exist in fashion magazines, but also in television and the big screen.  Teenagers  study themselves with the emaciated models figures and the Calista.  Flockharts of television when they look in the mirror, their  self-pride disappears, and they turn to the Adkins diet and Metabolife.  They begin to  crave themselves and suffer from anorexia and bulimia.  On the outside, they  atomic number 18 thin, but on the inside they suffer miserably, obsessed with diet and  essay to attain that perfect look.  The media needs to    advertise the average   mortal with the average body.  Perhaps if teenagers could see these as their  function models, their self-esteem would improve, and they would learn to accept themselves for what they  authentically are, healthy average  charitable beings.                My weight obsession somewhat  mute exists.  up to  direct I look back, and I dont k like a shot why I damaged myself like that physically and emotionally.  There are so many other important factors in life that   regain of significantly more than being thin.  Im 20  pounds heavier  straight, but now I can enjoy myself and not look at food as though its my enemy.  I enjoy eating, and  sedate exercise a couple of times a week.  I feel like my body is average, and that if Im happy with myself, then that is all that should matter.  Sometimes I wish I could be  rightfully thin again, but I know I dont   command to do more damage to my body.  I look back and also realize that when I was going through my      breaker point of obsessive exercising and spartan !   diet that I was   acquittance irritable, jumpy, and more impatient.   The reason for that is because food is nurturing and it is equivalent to having gas in your car.  A car cant  suffice without gas, and a person cant  complete effectively without a proper diet.  I starved my body back then, but I look at it now as a good early learning experience.  I now try to accept myself for who I really am.                                        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